Episode 144
<-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 145|Next Episode -->]] Length: 2:27:55 Hosts: Alex Kate Matt Mitch Guests: Intro: Trigger Warning on Youtube Channel on Smash Bros Minor Assault leaks. ---- Content Covered * Trigger Warnings. What is the future of society and us? Is this the horrible path the Western Civilization is going? Flab tries to be serious, but it hurts his brain so stops. Then tries again, but he feels something new happening in his brain and it scares him so he stops again. * Holy shit Matt realizes he's 30. Holy shit he's 30. All he can think about. * Haunted house stories. * Alex's hot cousin that gave him a boner * Alex fear balding * Questions Things you find offensive but makes jokes on? * Mitch hates PC but is retard. Notable Facts *Matt brought up Mitch interviewed the Wu. Wrong about it being at FIG it was East 13. *Kori afraid of rats. *Matt afraid of being old and thinking he's funny but he's not so Mitch *Domestic abuse bothers Alex *Alex callback on old people move through time 3 times fast. Funny Stories and Quotes Alex *Brianna Wu and Zoey Quinn are on our contacts list. *I want to call you out Matt for being a hypocrite. **Mitch - So what's new? *You know what's another name for Hitler? Kori. **Matt - Yes Mitch, I completely agree. I am friends with the wrong people. *I can't imagine Canada having more than 50,000 people. *Gamergate! **Matt - Next segment Gamergate. *You know that guy shot himself? **Matt - He did. **Alex - I totally got him to eat his own shit. *My friend died on the moon. How was your day. *I always say Mela is my sister. **Matt - I had the same restaurant experience with my sister. Waitress asked us how long have we been going out. She's my sister and we've been going out a couple of months now. Is this your girlfriend? Not anymore. 2 for 2 don't ask me. **Alex - Then I go with you and I was gay the whole time. **Matt - No the place has been shut down. **Alex - I think you would be good to me. **Kate- You sound like you break up 15 times but would be together next week. **Mitch - That's the gayest thing I've heard and we talk about fucking each other in the ass. **Matt - That's not gay. **Kate - That's just anal sex. **Matt - The fact of life. **Mitch - The manliest thing you can do. **Matt - If a girlfriend says do my butt, fuck yeah shit all over me. *I had to teach gay chicken to a girl. *Fast talking joke guys tell a bunch of stupid stuff. **Matt - Fast talking joke guys. We're fast talking joke guys. **Matt - Tall faster to get your joke out. *I've done some pretty gay stuff, but haven't played any gay chicken. **Matt - I just fuck men in the ass. **Matt - If you want me to stop fucking you, stop joking and talking fast. I'll fuck you til you love me. **Matt - I imaging you saying that while a crowd watches. **Alex - Fast fucking fuck guys. **Alex - I have sex with Matt for a joke? **Kate - Don't be silly. **Alex - Of course I will. **Matt - The ultimate sacrifice is to die for a friend. The ultimate joke is to have gay sex with a friend on a podcast. **Matt - The crowd is classy. Wearing top hats and monocles. **Kate - I had a dream of a elephant that was in a theatre. Elephant was spread eagle and farting like a cannon and the crowd applaused. **Alex - Like Horton Hears a Who which was mentioned in the first episode. **Kate - Full anal circle. **Matt - I have a story of an anus. *I'm going to do something that hasn't been done before. **Matt & Mitch - Be funny. **Matt - Well guess we know what we think of the show. *We're fast talking offensive guys. Thing you are offended but makes jokes on? *Fast talking political guys. You use to be the funnies and now you are the headlines. *Did you hear about the fart that pooped on a shit. *It's a poem. **Matt - Want me to read a poem? **Kate - Sure. **Matt - It's called cumming in your asses. It's funny cummy asses. *I saw a moderately attractive girl. Her last name was Anger. Now she's hot. *You're a very weird person. **Kate - No I'm not. I'm Canadian. **Alex - Nope you're a weird person. *Bring sex to me. **Matt - Bring sex to me please. Kate *I am your sad podcast person. I don't have anywhere to go. *Do you have a new reason to be angry? **Matt - Do I need a reason to be angry? *(Alex) You're short to increase the space between walls. *I found some mean people in Canada. **Matt - Noooo **Kate - They were tourists. It was a restaurant where you could look out a window and be faggots. **Matt Was it Red Bob's? **Kate - It was a fancy restaurant where all the waitresses looked like prostitutes. **Kate - She was doing something I couldn't do. Hold drinks in giant cups filled with frosting, icing, and silly straws. *Tyler Wilde was being a faggot on twitter. *Big fat tranny. *I really wanted DadSlapper. The Slapper family keeps expanding. **Matt - How can I give birth to this nightmare? **Alex - It's like a girl who gives great sex but is a bitch. **Matt - Are you talking about me. *Go gurt. **Matt - It was like sucking a dick. *Why am I still alive? Matt *I hate youtubers because I'm part of the Let's play community. I hate the scare cam why do I want to see your face? *The only truth is that everyone is a fucking liar. *I blocked my own news feed. I'm sick of seeing ebola jokes, Gamergate bullshit, Feminazis, and Fedora Bros. I'm fucking done with it. **Mitch - You should kill yourself. **Matt - I'm gonna kill you first. **Mitch - Please *Mitch if you don't stop I'll kick you off. **Mitch - Fuck you. **Kate - Fuck you dad. *I'm imagining ebola having consciousness. *They're jealous of me being a pussy because I'm having more fun. *Christina puts me in a box and pours dirt on me. *I'm gonna keep saying ni*ger cause its funny. **Kate - Jesus Christ *You can't make fun of someone without being expelled or fired. Guys can't bust each other balls. **Kate - Sometimes people are faggots **Matt - Who can be the fast talking joke guy? **Matt - First you can't fight. Now they take away jokes. What now? **Kate - What the fuck did you say? **Alex -There's a overarching theme. People are people man. **Matt - I fucking hate that hippie crap. **Alex - If you talk about beating an old lady to death by a baby. **Matt - People need to know the difference between joke and actually doing it. **Matt - I want to blow up cell phone towers because I find it funny. **Matt - I use to be SJW. *No women have rape fantasies. **Kate - Ever. That's why there's no romance novels. *I want to show (Chris Antista) that clip of Triforced Entry to show how much of an asshole. *A boss said I shouldn't grow a beard because women can't and I said some women can. *He said Indians shouldn't be allowed to work. 50% of the workplace is Indian. He's Indian. *We are not a videogame podcast. **Kate - Yes we are now. **Alex - We are nothing. *She's not a woman. She barely has any tits. Kids take notes. That's how you make misogynist joke. *I will not accept the console peasant on the show. **Mitch - Fuck you. **Kate - Fuck you. **Matt - Argument over. **Alex - What the fuck. Did Drew come on? **Mitch - I'm basically Drew. **Kate - Drew was ahead of his time. We all have PC's now, and we all listen to shitty music. **Matt - You're right he was too good for the show back then. **Kate - When we were all console peasants. **Matt - He's a billionaire zombie. **Alex - Billionaire corpse. **Kate - Don't take his name in vain Mitch, if you were him you would get your goddamn Mirrors Edge to work. **Alex - Oh my Drew guys. **Kate - I wonder if he thinks of us. **Matt - Ask the pile of money. **Matt - It's a Drew thing. **Mitch - A nurse girl made that noise. **Alex - Was it Drew? **Kate - Did you see her vaginal meat? *To answer your quote I hope I'm dead 100 episodes from now. *But Jesus I'm 30! I don't want to be doing this when I'm 50. Shit almost 4 years? Oh my god Jayson would be 40. *Life sucks. Drop out. *TalkRadar. They invented us. Mitch *I was going to say something that wasn't boring as shit. **Matt - That's not true. When you open your mouth it's boring as shit. *Revolution 60 those characters aren't called out because no one knows. *I went to a Haunted House last night. **Matt - So did I (Big whoopty fucking doo) *Have you heard my dick? **Matt - Yes, I've heard it was a gnarled husk of a use to be because you're dating a succubus and she's sucking the life out of you. *Are you gamergating me? **Matt - Yes. No. I'm gonna holocaust you. I'm gonna 9/11 that ass. *I would totally ride a Holocaust rollercoaster. **Matt - Fagmeggedon. Holocauster. *Remember when Alex killed things? **Alex - I will draw killing people non stop. That's how I wake up. *Remember when I use to go around and fucking joke gay babies while shooting Lesbian Mexicans in the mouth with a shotgun? **Kate - Uh okay okay. **Mitch - Shut the fuck up. **Kate - You faggot. *I remember when the show was fun. **Kate - No **Matt - Cmon Mitch stop lying. *I played the new Hatsune Miku game. That game is poopy shit, **Alex - Caca on you Japanese. **Alex - I have a question why are you a weeaboo homo? **Mitch - Me? It was on sale. **Matt - You're only a weeaboo homo when it's on sale? *I want to fuck Dan Amrich. **Matt - If we could all be Dan Amrich **Kate - The world would be a better place. *I'm not like my dad I'm the son he never wanted. *It's not whether you win or lose but if you get raped. Nothing. Okay fine. Guess I'll go kill myself. **Alex - You should. *Kori is going to name a cat Speedwagon. <-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 145|Next Episode -->]] Category:Episode Category:Alex Category:Kate Category:Matt Category:Mitch